The rest from My Disdain for the Pretty Boy:
Portual's captain, Cristiano Ronaldo, says he feels like a "broken man" following his side's 1-0 World Cup second-round defeat to Iberian neighbours Spain.
"I feel a broken man, completely disconsolate, frustrated and an unimaginable sadness," the 25-year-old winger told the BBC after finding out he has a vagina.
The Portugal captain has been often challenged about his balls, or lack-thereof, due to his propensity to fall down and cry like a little baby within 30 yards of the goalie box.
(Above) Cristiano Ronaldo, after he realizing he has a vagina.
"I was not in a position to explain what was what. I am a human being and like any human being I suffer and I have the right to suffer alone."
Ronaldo will spend the next year in preparation for the FIFA Women's World Cup in Germany, during which he warm the bench since soccer playing women could beat the shit out of him.
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