Why It'd Be Cool to Be in a Movie, Clovis Style

I've always thought it would be pretty badass to be in a movie, but not really for the reasons most other people seem to want to: celebrity, money, getting laid, money, artistic expression, and getting laid because you have money.

Nono, as it is with me for most things, I prefer the slightly eccentric, simple pleasures. So here are the reasons why I've always wanted to be in a movie, Clovis Style.

#1. Slow Motion Walking (romancey)

There has to be some scientifically proven fact that the slower-motiony someone walks in movies (particularly coming downstairs or entering a room) directly increases how attractive they are.

Believe me, I've tried it in real-life, but it just isn't the same. I just wind up looking like I'm trying to walk in slow motion and that just kills the whole effect.


#2. Slow Motion Walking (badassy)

In contrast, given the right elements (ass kicking music and some pleather), walking in slow motion could make me look infinitely more awesome than I am. Like you see here in The Matrix, except with fewer guns and even less death:



#3. Theme Music

Honestly, I have a fairly steady stream of theme music running in my head at most times, but it'd be so much better in surround sound. What's on My Life Soundtrack? Why, I'm glad you asked!


Everyday Theme Song:



Character Revealing Moment Song:



Song for the POTS/Fibro/Depression Mornings:



"I'm Gonna Hulk Out On You" Song:





Song for the Good Times (i.e. le montage):



Singing Into a Brush as a Microphone Song:



After-Life Song (morbid, I know, but I want this played at my funeral):


Wait until CD #2 comes out!

I just spent about an entire hour trying to find a video that would adequately depict how awesome my kicking ass scenes would be, but couldn't find one good enough. If you could combine Trinity with some Milla Jovavich and something other than pleather, you'd have it.

TO BE CONTINUED!